Oh yes, now where was I? :) About the time I stopped posting on here, I went through a major life change: dialysis. My kidneys had started to lose function, so they cut me up a bit (putting in a catheter and what is called a fistula), and started me on the long, unending road that is dialysis. Dialysis is nothing less than a nightmare: in my case, I have to sit around for 3 1/4 hours attached toi a machine. If I move too much, an alarm goes off. I have to keep both arms completely still throughout the process. We all have TVs to watch, which can take away some of the boredom, but it still is a chore. When I can, I sleep through the process. Dialysis itself would be tolerable if it were just sitting around for over 3 hours. A lot can go wrong: if too much fluid is drawn off, you can get severe, body wide cramps. The nurses will atop the process where water is eliminated-- but you have to stay in that chair until the treatment is done. It doesn't matter how much pain you are in. They will inject saline into you to try to stop the cramps, but after that' you're on your own. I'v had my blood pressure drop to practically nothing. A couple of times, I was extremely disoriented. I onlot half remember those times, though I do have a half-memory of a nurse walking me around the place, hoping to get my blood pressure up. Sometimes they give us what they call "broth," which is a chicken bouillon cube semi dissolved in hot water. Personal autonomy is something you lose almost immediately. There are monthly blood tests, and they keep track of what they call "water weight" gain. You can't drink too much-- and I'm not talking about alcohol here. It's all liquids. Thirst? Forget about it! You're rationed a small amount of water per day. As for food, they test your blood every month. Foods that are not allowed are foods high in sodium, potassium, and phosphorus. A normal person could literally live a very healthy life just easting the proscribed foods. Here isa a partial list: all leafy greens ham sausage beans chocolate tomatoes potatoes cantaloupe watermelon all nuts all dairy just about all frozen dinners bananas squash brussels sprouts And on and on and on. I suspect that just about everyone on dialysis cheats from time to time. I know that I have imbibed of some of the forbidden foods. The main trick is to figure out how much of that stuff you can eat without it appearing on your blood test. There are things called phosphate binders, which are chemicals that attach themselves to phosphates and allow them to just pass through your system. Personally, I have found that plain old Tums work as binders. By taking an extra Tums tablet, I can have some of the high phosphorus foods without worries. Now, going to a dialysis center is an experience in and of itself. The place is, by definition, full of people who could have taken care of themselves, but chose not to. Drug addicts, diabetics in denial, we have them all. And, as you might suspect, they're not the sharpest knives in the drawer either. OK< almost to a one, they qualify as idiots: the sort of people most of us would avoid. My case is a bit different. I'd had a heart operation, and they gave me this drug called trasylol. Trasylol was found out later to destroy kidney function, which it did in very short order to me. So there I am, in a center with a bunch of life's losers, forced to take dialysis through no fault of my own. Most of the time I make friends quickly when I am in a group of people. Not these folks. There's nothing in common; no reason to communicate. I sit by myself, talk to the nurses on occasion, and that's about it. I've thought about a kidney transplant, but having to take more than double the hand full of pills I do now is not appealing. I could so something called peritoneal dialysis at home, but that would involve further bodily mutilation, as well as having a tube sticking permanently out of my belly. Alternatives? There's going to a hospice, and just waiting to die. I've thought about it. I should think 100% of dialysis patients have thought about it. I'd blow up like a balloon, but at least they'd be injecting me with happy drugs, so the pain and depression wouldn't be too bad. I'm too much of a coward to go that route. Is there any hope? There's talk about growing artificial kidneys; I remember reading an article about how they are experimenting with printing artificial kidneys using a 3D printer. Printing body parts! That sounds like particularly absurd science fiction, but they're doing it now.